it all fades..
How do I start this… Well, first of all, I thought I was decently popular back in high school. I had many groups of friends and we all got along. I was able to approach them with comfort and never held back. I look back and wonder, where did it all go? All those people who had my back, all those times we turned to each other for advice..
College, in college I started to realize that going down my phone book.. out of the 200-300 people in my list, I was only able to bring up around 5-8 people that I could call just to talk as friends. To some people 5-8 is enough. To me, it was enough but what was sad was all the friendships that I’ve had, I held dear back in high school, are just names on my phone book just in case. Just in case I needed them for help, just in case someone else didn’t have their number and needed it, just in case for the sake of networking in the future.
When I look at it now… I think, where did it all go? Why wasn’t I able to keep my friendships strong? I’ve been trying to rekindle friendships, I’ve tried to study with some friends that I haven’t talked to for years… But in the end, it’s really up to them to accept it. Sometimes, it just ends up with me being left behind in the attempt to catch up. I try and it is heart-breaking. I still remember almost everything about the friends that I once knew, but now it feels like a waste of knowledge. It’s not like I’ll bust them out sooner or later..
Now, I just don’t want to meet people. I don’t want to get to know them and then.. let it all fade.
